A couple more days of
procrastination, lazing around and berating myself over not having made any
progress with my infant blog, and I can celebrate a two-month anniversary of my
new born.
A sudden, hasty and
under-constructed decision of starting up a space in this massive and uncharted
terrain of the internet world (where I am still a
lost-and-found-and-lost-again) and trying to carve up a niche for my baby, I felt
so at unease and distressed. During the days that followed my blog’s labor I’d
often found myself with low self esteem and even lower will to do anything
about this space. Long gone was that spark I’d nursed for years to write, to
start a blog.
On the first day (or more like
evening) of my new found job I’d desperately knocked at my grey cells and raked
my brain trying to crack up with an idea for the numero uno blog post. Having then recently survived the
intermediate examinations, all I had buzzing around my head were my poorly
written papers and the then very
bleak future; and I thought ‘why the hell not just write up a post about the
examinations’, the very thing anyone my age dreaded. I didn’t see why anybody
would read a post about that so to brighten it up and present a very lucrative
blog post, I chucked in a completely irrelevant picture I’d taken from my phone
camera of my steadily growing library, making sure I added the book of the
season in the picture frame (TFIOS!!!) assuming I’d just presented the candy
every 5 year old at the exhibition would get all worked up and cranky for. I’d
needed to put myself out there, with anything at all, to let the netizens know
about the new kid on the block. It surprisingly worked! Who would’ve bloody
thought!
And then followed the blogger’s
block. When a couple of interested friends came knocking at my door asking me
when I planned on updating I’d meekly avoid eye-contact, then all of a sudden
had this faux air of accomplishment like I’m ready to dish out a coupla plenty
of my thoughts and inhibitions all of which were to be microscopically
misjudged and scrutinized. (I’m all out for that!)
All that I really had to do was
fire up my computer and string a sensible sentence reflecting my haywire
thoughts in a neat, cozy and composed packet to be scarfed down furiously. And
now I’m quite firm on my decision to do just that! I’ll have to constantly
fight my discomforts and boost my critically low self-confidence to get there
and I’m game for that! Bring it on, head.
In the course of all this I hope to find
solace and comfort in my discomforts.
