Game on!

A couple more days of procrastination, lazing around and berating myself over not having made any progress with my infant blog, and I can celebrate a two-month anniversary of my new born.

A sudden, hasty and under-constructed decision of starting up a space in this massive and uncharted terrain of the internet world (where I am still a lost-and-found-and-lost-again) and trying to carve up a niche for my baby, I felt so at unease and distressed. During the days that followed my blog’s labor I’d often found myself with low self esteem and even lower will to do anything about this space. Long gone was that spark I’d nursed for years to write, to start a blog.

On the first day (or more like evening) of my new found job I’d desperately knocked at my grey cells and raked my brain trying to crack up with an idea for the numero uno blog post. Having then recently survived the intermediate examinations, all I had buzzing around my head were my poorly written papers and the then very bleak future; and I thought ‘why the hell not just write up a post about the examinations’, the very thing anyone my age dreaded. I didn’t see why anybody would read a post about that so to brighten it up and present a very lucrative blog post, I chucked in a completely irrelevant picture I’d taken from my phone camera of my steadily growing library, making sure I added the book of the season in the picture frame (TFIOS!!!) assuming I’d just presented the candy every 5 year old at the exhibition would get all worked up and cranky for. I’d needed to put myself out there, with anything at all, to let the netizens know about the new kid on the block. It surprisingly worked! Who would’ve bloody thought!

And then followed the blogger’s block. When a couple of interested friends came knocking at my door asking me when I planned on updating I’d meekly avoid eye-contact, then all of a sudden had this faux air of accomplishment like I’m ready to dish out a coupla plenty of my thoughts and inhibitions all of which were to be microscopically misjudged and scrutinized. (I’m all out for that!)

All that I really had to do was fire up my computer and string a sensible sentence reflecting my haywire thoughts in a neat, cozy and composed packet to be scarfed down furiously. And now I’m quite firm on my decision to do just that! I’ll have to constantly fight my discomforts and boost my critically low self-confidence to get there and I’m game for that! Bring it on, head. 

In the course of all this I hope to find solace and comfort in my discomforts.